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Oh Americans, with their tiny boxes: A tangent?


Peace Cool World,

I’ve been observing folks on my flights this holiday weekend…and its got me thinking.



Originally, I thought about the concept in terms of television. These people get on my airplane with these tiny I-Pod minis or other video players…and I swear, they’re getting smaller by the day. They pull them out of the fifth pocket that used to house quarters for emergency phone calls. Or  flip a switch on their cell phones. Hell, they can even watch the last season of THE SOPRANOS  on their (go go gadget) wrist watches. But then they plug in these miniscule ear buds (so’ll think the voices are only in your head), or GIGANTIC head phones…(noise cancelling, thought projecting, so-huge-you-can-hear-a-mouse-piss-on-cotton, ESP enhancing head phones) and they watch their Seinfield season three downloads. Its hilarious. And sad. It’s like Americans cannot live without being constantly entertained… steadily stimulated. HELLO! There’s no reason that your two year old HAS to watch Dora the Explorer anytime she isn’t eatting, sleeping, or shitting. C’MON!

Seriously though…I think I should have one built that will slide into the thin purple case that houses my birth control pills. And It’s just GOTTA have an MP3 and MP4 player, 8G of memory, a cell phone (with call waiting, voice mail and text messaging) GPS, world clock with military time, video camera, REGULAR camera, blue tooth, Internet access, touch screen, and cool skin colors. Get on it IPOD people! Chop-Chop!.

Here’s the kicker: I just KNOW that in their homes they have the newest, most expensive Crystal-screen, LCD, 3-D, Hi-def, retractable movie screens that they leave on CNN or VH-1 (depending on the generation). So yeah, at first it was about the tv screens.





But when I think about it it’s much more than just TV.

It’s VEHICLES too! Either you have the biggest,  most gas-guzzling-est, Roll-over-a-small-third-world village without so much as feeling a bump in the backseat (as you watch your FRIENDS limited edition DVD from the head rest flat screens)  while on the way to the WALMART around the corner -type all terrain SUV (but only to be driven on refinished sububan roads.) Or you have the most compact, eco-friendly, runnin’ on human feces and left over EVV (extra-virgin olive oil for those ignorant to Racheal Ray-isms) and only comes in two colors (Earth Tan and Virgin blood),  patent pending piece of shit on the lot.

And its not just TV’s and CARS. It vaginas! Yes VAGINAS!

American’s either want the tightest, most virginal, 14 year old pussy in the population. Or the most porno’d, blown out, smoking on a newport and sipping some YAC type coochie (yeah…coochie) in the cut.  Just look at the nature of internet porn. TINY TEENS or MILFS…take your pic.

We want our french fries SUPER KING SIZED and our carrots and spinach BABY’d.

We’ll have our homes HUGE and rambling or “efficient” and in a trendy area.

For America to be the country in the MIDDLE of the continent…we sure do enjoy extremes.

Think about it.
peace Cool World.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. Thorough_Brotha permalink
    07/04/2008 2:25 am

    Rage against the machine? Aiigt den Cool Crys…
    and “coochie” lol, that’s old school.

  2. 07/04/2008 4:25 am

    THIS IS A CLASSIC POST! This is why you are Cool Crys.

    This is why I am, have always been, and will continue to be A FAN!


  3. 07/04/2008 4:26 am

    PS—-> I will NEVER get the image of a vagina/pussy/coochie smoking a Newport out of my head… NEVER!


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